Another day gone

And (almost) nothing achieved. I say ‘almost’ because I did manage to order a shower screen for my ‘douche italienne’ but even that wasn’t straightforward. The model that I went for is on sale on Mano-Mano, one of those home-grown French web sites that try to emulate Amazon by acting as a shop window for lots of sellers and manufacturers.

I need a 110 cm wide screen to go onto a 110 cm square floor area so the bar that secures its top to the wall needs to be the same length. The trouble was the model I wanted only comes with a 90 cm bar and when I asked if that could be swapped for a 110cm one I was told that it couldn’t.

So I looked around and even went onto the seller’s own web site where the model on sale on Mano-Mano was more expensive, so expensive in fact that it was worth buying it through Mano Mano and sourcing an additional bar from a different supplier. Go figure – you couldn’t make it up.

Progress on getting my house connected to electricity was, however, painfully absent. The barriers put in the way of doing so are considerable and almost impenetrable for the average French person, let alone a non-francophone foreigner like me.

Bear in mind that I made the initial request for connection on 11th July and progress to date has been zero. At the end of last week I’d made a desperate request to EDF to just get the house connected, as you would do in the UK, when it would be connected in a jiffy.

But not so in France. Here they are only concerned about their labyrinthine system and the needs of the customer take a very distant second place.

You’d think that as I’ve had a ‘temporary’ connection for about 2 years (called a ‘branchement provisoire’) that it would be the easiest thing in the world to say, ‘OK, the house is finished, now just make it permanent and make any changes to the tariff that are necessary’. Er, no.

I’ve been told that the two ‘systems’ are quite different (eh? why?) and that not only must you make a completely separate application but you also end up with a new contract and a new customer reference. And that, of course (hands being figuratively rubbed together on the other end of the telephone line) means, sir, that yet another new ‘dossier’ has to be created with all that that entails for information, involvement of engineers and inspectors, creation of new references and lord only knows what.

And that’s when you begin to hit brick walls because nobody tells you exactly what the information comprises and where to find it and, heavens above, there’s no way that Enedis who’s in charge of the network and responsible for actually connecting the wires, can possibly talk directly to EDF who’s in charge of accounts and billing. Sir, we are two separate companies!

So having made my plaintive plea to them at the end of the last week I was surprised this morning just as I was about to leave the caravan by a call from EDF. Despite my request for the caller to speak slowly and clearly, I gathered from their rapidly accelerating French that this was to do, unsurprisingly, with connecting my house.

Beyond that I understood about half, or a bit more, of the conversation and had to join the dots for the rest. I had to re-provide lots of information that I’ve already provided several times previously – address and floor area of the house, electrical equipment being used, number of people living there and so on.

At the end of it I was no wiser than I had been previously about what was then going to happen, if the house was going to be connected, if so when, if I had to do anything else… you know, crucial stuff like that. However, a stumbling block that had arisen just previously concerning a reference called a ‘PDL’ reared its head yet again and seemed to be what was blocking the system and bringing it to a halt.

Nobody had bothered to explain what a ‘PDL’ is. It’s short for ‘Pointe de Livraison’ and it’s a code found on your bills that is specific to the ‘point of delivery’ ie the electricity meter. I’d been asked several times what the new PDL was – how the heck was I supposed to know! I’m the ruddy customer, not an electrical engineer.

Incidentally, on the EDF (or is it Enedis, I’m losing the will to live) web site it asks, ‘Want to connect your new house? No problem! Just choose your supplier (in my case EDF), tell them and they’ll do the rest’. What a travesty of the truth!

But ‘Zut! Alors!’ A few minutes after my conversation with the man from EDF with whom our conversation was terminated rather brusquely, an email came through welcoming me as a new (hollow laugh, new after 11 years) customer and setting out details of my new contract. And among them was a new PDL.

I’d already found out that the PDL for my ‘branchement provisoire’ could not be re-used as it was for a temporary connection which is different, as I explained above, to a permanent one. I thought the PDL on the new contract was manna from heaven and the missing piece of the jigsaw that would at last get me connected.

So as soon as I spotted it I phoned the number for Enedis that the man from EDF had given to me earlier. But would you believe it (yes I know, I wasn’t really surprised either) my hopes were then soundly dashed. The young lady on the other end told me that the PDL that I’d just provided was for a ‘branchement provisoire’ – a temporary connection – and was no use to her. I had to give her the proper new PDL. But where should I get it from? My builder? The electrician who installed the system? Ah, that was my problem.

There was no mention of the PDL on the official inspector’s paperwork (that would be much too sensible) so after going around in circles for another 10 or 15 minutes I got sick of it, told the young lady that the system is crazy, too painfully complex and that I’d had enough. She said that that was a shame but I hung up anyway.

But being me I didn’t let it stop there. After a strong cup of tea I did a bit more research on the internet and to my complete surprise I uncovered the fact that if you have a Linky it’s a piece of cake to get the PDL off it. If you page through its display it comes up with a ‘Numéro de PRM’ and this, my friends, is the same as the PDL (which is why the French give it a different name).

I’ve told all of the people that I’ve been in contact with from both Enedis and EDF that the new system has been installed in my house together with a Linky. Why has nobody told me that I could get the PDL reference that they’ve all asked for from it in seconds? Are they all gormless, ignorant or just lazy? I suspect all of the above.

A few weeks ago I was in contact with another young lady from Enedis who had given me some very helpful advice. I decided to see if she could help and sent her an email telling her about my problems, providing all of the contract information that I had and giving her the PDL that I’d got minutes before from my Linky.

She came up trumps minutes later telling me that this was linked to an existing Enedis project, that all the work had been done, the fee had been paid and all that was necessary was for it to be put into service. For that I just had to complete a form F100 from EDF. At last! What a star!

I can’t find any link taking me to the F100 but I believe that the information requested by the EDF man from the first phone call this morning was relevant to it. In the hope that the blockages have been removed I sent a message to EDF client service (an oxymoron if ever there was one) with the new contract references and included the new PRM/PDL. Your guess is as good as mine, however, as to whether my house will be connected this time next week 😕